My amazing dad.. I love him so much

Sometimes, a child would be close with one of his/her parents, for me.. My DAD is my idol.. although sometimes, i just hate being in his cage, but beside that… i adore and love him so much.

I remembered that my mom always tells everything about him. My dad is one of the fourth children in a broken home, my granny was just a housewife who struggled to feed her family without any husband around. My dad helps her, and also fight to have a better education. He came to Surabaya, being a teacher when he was in a college, and had another job at night just to save some money to live.

Took some sarcastic face and words from other people because he is poor. He is also different within friends with the same occupation. He never take anyone’s money just for some consultation. For me, he is my hero

When we were kids, i remembered, he picked me up after school, although he had to wait in his car if i had not come out yet… While now, i felt so annoyed to pick someone’s up and have to wait..

When i had a bad mark in my test, i used to asked his signature instead so i wouldnt have to hear my mom yelled at me or hit me because of that, he just asked me to study harder..

When i hated him for not giving me what i wanted, i was putting some face on.. while now, i might get so angry if my niece gave her parents that same look.

When i asked him for going overseas or study in the international institution, he just agreed and prepared the money for me, while now perhaps i might be counting how much to give to my parents and for myself

When i fought my sister and ask for separate room, he just built me another room, and now it was empty when my sister got married, .. un-used.

I remembered when i was a kid, i used to massage him with walking thru his body.. to ease his tired. I like to sleep in his bed, and being carried to my own bed (sometimes i just pretending because i want to be carried.

I remembered that he didnt got mad like my mom when i was caught drunk.. he just came to my room the day after and talk heart to heart, seems that he understood what was deep in my heart instead of what i was doing to cover it.

When i had out-town work , he never let me to use any cab, he himself would take me down the airport.. while when he’s gone out-town, he never want me to take him to the airport.

At night, he never ask me to drive him, in other hand, he just drive it himself even he had trouble seeing at night. but he never complain.

I remembered that he sound so proud explaining each by each his children.. what they do and what they graduate in…

I remembered that he couldnt express his feeling, but i knew that he missed me so much, at the time i came back.. and when i flew back to aussie.. he looked sad.. but he just keep silent..

dad, .. so much that you did to us, but we still has not have any chance to reply it to you, it just deep and deep from my heart.. i still and always love you.. I want to be like you when i have a child.

But dad, when i look at you now.. what has happen to you? you looked so skinny, so old.. and your face look so pale.. oh dad..

Dad, im sorry for all that i have done that hurt you so much.. im sorry.. i knew that you prepared my engagement without i know it.. and im sure you were hurt.. while he was gone,..and the engagement you dream was canceled .. dad im sorry.., i dont want to hurt you anymore…..

once again, dad.. I love you.. and this journal is for you…..


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