New Year Resolution 2015

Kayaknya tahun tahun yang lalu kita selalu membuat resolusi untuk dilupakan. Sekarang ini, di dekat penghujung umur 30 ini, aku pengen mencoba merencanakan kehidupan plus evaluasinya pada akhir tahun 2015. Kira2 apa ajah yang yg perlu aku plan kan buat tahun ke 38 dari kehidupan ini yah…

1. Start ide usaha – banyak kepinginnya, tapi kog ternyata syusah banget yah.. dimulai dulu sedikit2 buat nyobain bisnis kecil2 an.. eh ternyata gagal begitu supliernya ganti kerjaan… #huff

2. Beli 1 property lagi…. puengen banget benernya punya property yg bisa ngehasilin duit sendiri…. kalo Tuhan mengijinkan… ada property kecil, coba deh aku beli, kalo hitungannya tepat…

3. Hidup Hemat, ngitung dulu kalo mo ngafe, atawa ngasi jatah kalo mo makan keluar… karena banyak keinginan.. aku udah pengen mulai plan uang keluar masuk, biar nga boros2 kayak dulu lagi…. Benernya, telat ngga sich kalo mikirnya baru sekarang… Aku liat temen2 juga yg seumur ada yg belon mikir juga beli property loh… (ato mungkin karena masi belon ada tanggungan yah…)

4. Belajar Pasrah….. , kadang nich harusnya bisa, tapi banyakan bilang ga bisa.. takut takut ampe kagak bisa bobok…. Tuhan punya Rencana, dan rencanaNYA baik adanya, man… keep the faith…

5. Nga boleh iri ama orang laen , yang dulu rajanya ngiri … apalagi ngliat orang laen pergi ke Luar.. kayaknya kog pengen mulu yah.. tapi… demi ke 1 dan 2, di tahan dulu deh.. se murah2nya Thailand.. sayang buat di buat kayak begitu…

6. Blogging , setidaknya seminggu 2x, buat refres… sapa tau bisa menghasilkan

Kayaknya lebih kurang, itu dulu deh.. ntar jg di bagi per bulan.. kebanyakan malah nga keturutan…

mei 1st 2011, the starting point of my new life

I remembered, about this day, one year ago, when I was in pilgrimage tour in europe. My life looked so miserable, broken hearted, , and no clear future. As some of you that have read my previous stories, may know that I was just lost my bf for about a year, therefore in one way, I felt down,

I went to LOURDES with 2 wishes, first I’d like to clear my mind of him, and secondly, I’d like to ask guidance from Mother Mary, so that I could understand which path I should follow.

Although, some of the tour friend may think I was brave because I went there alone, but for me.. My intention is to pray and ask for those wishes especially the first one. Whenever I looked back when my ex was here, I felt like a knife stabbed in my chest… Hurt

I met 4 other friends there within my age.. The J son and daughter and ms susan. Before we realize, we became friend. Taking pictures, laugh, tell each other stories.

Then, before we realize , the tour was already over.. And we were back to our business. But, one I couldn’t understand, I become close to Armand, unexpectedly

One month after that we become lovers, and until now we haven’t got a serious fight for each other.. NOW, after a year we would like to take the relationship seriously

And I know, it was.. Because a miracle of lourdes that we meet, that we keep each other until now.

(Hank you .other .ary for your blessing and you wonderful gift

THE MASK….. (a simple lie can shut down your life)

As I’ve been told… we should dare to dream, so we have something in live to achieve, … BUT.. how it will be if the DREAM is too HIGH too reach.. people will change, will do anything harm to others, cannot be thankful for what we have…

I know someone, who was a simple person, but has high expectation in her marriage life
As the time flows, she begin to step one level of live which is MARRIAGE…
but her dream cannot be achieved.. unfortunately her dream was ruin, and her life become miss-arable,..with the debts ..
the real life begun to appear so fast as A thunderstorm…

her dream become a nightmare… her life become A sharp knife which ready to cut out all the part of her body
her tears already dried… and her body become weak..
then something happen… the dark shadow appear and blind everything out..
she closed her heart, her eyes, her ears to everything…. and she become a very new her..

And she started her FAKE LIFE…
she put a MASK on her face to deal with the reality
Her friend become her enemy, only glamorous things open her eyes…
she feel heartless to anyone that tried to help her
she only listen to everyone who make her happy
she fill her life with her dream before without seeing a reality

at the end…
nothing can change her..
she live with her mask life
living as a pretender…
point out everything but her.. to blame…

do you think, how it can be???
it would be YOU…if you dream something that cannot achievable
it would be YOU, if you cannot face the reality and start act of it
it would be YOU, if first start as a pretender.. then you will pretend for the rest of your life

SO, guys.. out there..
STOP BEING A PRETENDER

Setiap kondisi pasti ada rencanaNYA

Setiap kali kalo kita lagi down selalu ada kata-kata “Semua indah pada waktunya” .. “mungkin belum saatnya” … “nanti akan ada yang terbaik”…..terus terang kata-kata itu sebenernya nga terlalu bisa dipahami buat orang yang lagi kesusahan.. .. too cliche…. dan itu terjadi pada saat semua berkata demikian padahal kita dalam keadaan yang membutuhkan penjelasan dan pembenaran …

Seiringnya waktu, dimana kekalutan sudah terurai…. pikiran sudah menjadi tenang.. baru kita dapat berpikir dengan baik dan bisa menelaah..

Pada saat satu kondisi yang lebih menyenangkan muncul…
setelah itu kita baru berpikir.. “AHA”… jangan2 ini yang dibilang kalo semua itu indah pada waktunya???…
hm, ternyata… memang benar..semua ada waktunya….

kemudian, kita akan berpikir lagi….
kalau saja kita ‘nggandoli’ masalah kita..tetep berkutat pada keinginan kita yang ‘harus’ dijalankan..maka kita tidak akan menemukan yang lebih baik daripada itu.. dan kemungkinan akan terjebak dengan permasalahan yang lebih dalam

Jadi, menurutku.. malah dengan kita mengikuti apa yang telah direncanakan olehNYA..semua itu sudah disediakan olehNYA sesuai dengan kemampuan kita.

Mungkin kita akan mengalami kerikil kerikil percobaan, tapi apapun itu, pasti ada rencana dibaliknya.. dan membuat kita lebih matang, lebih tegar untuk menghadapi kehidupan

So, guys – girls…. jangan pernah menyerah… dan putus asa bila kalian ada pada kondisi down atau masalah yang besar…. karna setiap kondisi pasti ada rencana dibaliknya…

Mengapa hidup ini tidak ADIL???

Mengapa hidup ini tidak adil???
Pertanyaan yang tidak perlu jawaban ini sering terlontar dari pikiran banyak orang ketika mereka merasa bahwa persoalan sepertinya datang silih berganti, atau masalah terasa tidak ada jawaban, atau dikala kita susah kita melihat sekitar kita sedang bergembira…

Mengapa hidup ini tidak adil…..??

Hari ini aku baca satu buku, dengan pembahasan tentang hal ini… dikatakan.. di dalam dunia, tidak ada sesuatu yang adil.. tapi bagaimana caranya kita merespon sesuatu hal itu sehingga kita bisa ‘survive’ dan sukses melewati kondisi tersebut, bukannya malah terpuruk

Dibahas juga bahwa bila dilihat dari dua sisi mata uang, suatu peristiwa, pasti akan dianggap adil bagi satu pihak dan tidak adil bagi pihak yang lain. Misalnya dalam satu peristiwa pembunuhan . Bagi pihak keluarga korban, adil adalah bila terdakwa dihukum mati. sedangkan bagi keluarga terdakwa, mungkin mereka merasa bila adil bila terdakwa dihukum akan tetapi diperbolehkan masih bertemu dengan anak istrinya.. dan tidak jadi dihukum mati…

Adapun, bilamana dari pembahasan alkitabiah..
bila kita merasa hidup kita tidak adil…
Pernahkah kita merasa…….

ADILKAH, seorang MESIAS mengalami penghinaan dengan ditangkap, diseret, dan diludahi?
ADILKAH, seorang tidak bersalah dijatuhi hukuman mati, disalib dengan hina
ADILKAH, seorang YESUS dipaksa setengah telanjang, kesakitan dipaku dan disalib?
ADILKAH, seorang penguasa dunia mati disalib???

Bila melihat itu..
PANTASKAH kita merasa hidup kita ini TIDAK ADIL?
BERANIKAH kita marah pada TUHAN mengenai hidup kita?
PANTASKAH kita mengeluh terus??

Yang IA harapkan adalah
RESPONSE your life.. immediately.. because He gives you the situation for A reason….
to make you STRONGER than before…

hope you understand

Whom are you to judge……

Have you realize that you always chit chat about other people?
Do you know that you also a sinner?
then whom are you to judge other people sin, if you also a sinner??

Sepertinya kata kata itu tersirat di dalam Alkitab sewaktu Yesus menghentikan massa yang melempari wanita bersalah. Dimana, akhirnya Yesus mengatakan, barang siapa yang merasa tidak berdosa, ia berhak untuk melempari wanita itu.. dan ternyata satu persatu mulai yang paling tua mundur dari kerumunan tersebut.

Seperti saat ini, banyak pendemo , penghujat.. semua media mulai merespon masyarakat yang tidak terima dengan peristiwa Ariel dan Luna… atas videonya… For me it so ridiculous ..

Sepertinya tiap manusia itu punya tendensi untuk menyalahkan orang lain, menghina bahkan sampai menghujat ketimbang mengampuni. Tapi pernahkan kita berpikir bahwa apakah kita tidak pernah berbuat salah hingga kita menganggap orang yang bersalah itu perlu dihujat ataupun dihina?
Apakah kita pernah memandang diri kita TIDAK TERLALU BAIK – (not that good)??? apakah kita memang seperti orang2 yang melempar itu, padahal kita juga sama bersalahnya

Maka itu.. DONT JUDGE PEOPLE, but look into you, have you been doing better than them???

BEWARE: Words could KILL

Its a very SHARP title , don’t you think? but it’s quite true indeed..

Sometimes, we could not control our words, if we’re angry. We tend to say something that already  in mind.. without filtering it first. However, have you ever think that A small words can kill people’s feeling?

I was talking with a friend last night, and i assumed he lost his love for his family because of the words that came out from his parents . I do think, it started from a simple thing…and when it was said over and over again, before they realized it already become a BIG wound to their son.

Sometimes, we do not know how a SIMPLE WORD  could have many meanings to others. And DANGEROUSLY, it might stab straight to their heart and placed it permanently . That SMALL word… can kill  personality and most of the time could change people to worse.

and now,ask your self?

For PARENTS, have you ever or perhaps regularly SCOLD or said something that could hurt your kid’s feeling or avoided your kids..???

just REMEMBER , those small words/gesture.. can be stick on their mind until he/she is adult..  Dont you understand… your kids need your warm welcome, care, balanced attention within the kids. Without that, they would feel left behind and unwanted… The effect is so broad… they will try to find others that makes them welcomed and wanted.. it makes them entered the world of drugs and nite life. or sometimes they ruin their life to ask YOUR attention and care…

for FRIENDS, have you ever find yourself saying something that if you get that words itself,  you would feel hurt…??

Have you ever know that your words stick there where it makes a big wound to whoever you have said it? Moreover, it make them ask why and why.. while it might be NOT their fault?

My opinion…check your words before it comes out your mouth.. . BY delaying your words, and observe whether the word can be a lifesaver to others.

.. i guess.. conversation, communication IS NOT an easy thing to do.. although we done it everywhere, and anytime…

AGREE???

(dedicated to YS)

Every cloud has its silver lining

Problem always occurs in our life.. im sure everyone has experienced of facing a problem, rite.. but as God promises us.. He would never leave us alone…

St Paul mentioned in his letter, he said that if you walk with God then you have nothing to be feared about. as He puts the problems according to the size.., he put it in few parts

First, the enemy that surrounds you but cannot hurt you because the spirit is guiding you.. . We’ve been surrounding, but not surrounded

secondly, the enemy that block your way… but remember if you still in God;s way.. you might see a small light to see your next step…If God seems to close his door, he always open A window.

Being torched but not being left alone.. because the guardian always be by your side. Your enemy might hit and take you down, but they cannot make you lose.

Sometimes people failed to stay in their faith, because they think that walk with Jesus means, there is no problem or enemy that tried to hurt them..
They are wrong… because sometimes a problem or enemy is something that GOD puts you to make you stronger…

I Believe in every problem, there is something that we can learn.. about life and wisdom and KARMA.. ; as i remembered about my life..every problem that i faced..always make a good thing after… it might be at the same time, 1 year..or 5 years…

so…believe it and be STRONG..because there always be a silver lining in ever cloud

When a SMALL for you is counted BIG to others

This is my real experiences… and I just got its lesson ..

For me, as a single woman, .. i have everything.. i mean, i grow from a family who has enough… even though we are not too wealthy. For the work, i have a good position and good salary, enough for a single person to live a good life.. For me, to eat on the good restaurant which cost me 300,000 for two is still afforded.

Then..one day..
I met someone, that has small family… To her, Rp 100,000 is worth much more than it is for me. It could save her to coupe with her family debt. For her, to save that amount, she would take next months salary first…

So ironic right, thats life…..
Once more, i remembered another story, that someone tried to lend me some money, .. for me its a small piece from my salary. At first, she asked how to proposed a credit from a bank. And i gave her advise, not to take any bank credit… and offer to lend it from me with a small commision… (ha ha…) i was so surprised actually to know how much that she needs… (but i was joking .. and send out the commission to her again after she pay the last debt)

In here, we’re not talking about finance, but as i heard from the television, a LIE can make a BIG deal to other, while it is just a SMALL things to them who talk about it…

Ironic, huh…
for the same amount…. while someone said it was a SMALL amount to him/her, it could be BIG to others…

Now I Know how it works….

Today, i was talking with someone that reminds me of how hard to build A family is like. I do think i have lots of stories about how hard the relationship will face on the first 5 years of marriage. If it is not about finance, the differences of their mindset, their responses on something and many more

Two things that i know about finance difficulties could broke your relationship. As the woman will try to discuss the problem with her hubby, the man will try to be alone and think.. without talking. The differences between Mars and Venus could make the atmosphere become critical. If the woman could not understand how a man things , she will try to push.. while the man could not accept that behavior and become angry with that condition.

One thing could i say for a woman, please just be quite.. and try to understand that every man will try to go on their safe house to think, if he has the answer, he would come back to you.. but one things you can do, is to think how to make them come out from their safehouse earlier.

For a man, please understand about girl, she needs your caring and understanding to make her feel safe and not being worried tho the problem is still occur.

Still, although the problem is still in…. but the relationship would be as strong as before, if you two understand each other

After knowing about that, and saying a prayer for tonight, I understand, it seems that GOD has extending my ‘single’ time because HE knows that I could deal with that condition.. and HE would plan the best for me…